Yesterday, I finally sent two emails that had been sitting in my drafts folder for quite some time. One was to BOB, the manufacturer of jogging strollers, suggesting their engineers find a way to combine the swiveling front wheel of the Revolution with the hand brake of the Ironman. The other was to the director of a local race, offering some constructive suggestions for improvement. Parking marshals, people, parking marshals! A dozen 13-year olds or buckets of sand with staked signs and arrows could avoid so much frustration for so many people. In their defense, though, it was a first time event. (Don't get me started on how they called it "first annual." Like nails on a chalkboard.)
Sending those got me thinking about all the emails I've wished I've been able to send over the years but haven't because it's just not worth the hassle, is completely impractical, or I'm too lazy.
Dear Tourists,
It's a crosswalk. Please stop for pedestrians in it. It's the law.
Sincerely,
Don't Enjoy Playing Frogger
Dear Person I Used to Know,
You're big and tall. Please invest in some big and tall shirts. A view of your belly isn't good for any of us.
V/r,
A Little Nauseous
Dear Bananas,
Must you ripen so fast? You go from perfect to gross in about two hours.
Sincerely,
Not Easy Being Picky
Dear Self,
Stop hoarding pics on your phone. You can't even back up your phone any more.
Xoxo,
Too Cheap to Pay for More Cloud Storage
Dear Toddler Offspring,
I'm glad you're not sick anymore. Now please go back to sleeping through the night. You don't need cuddles or meds in the middle of the night any longer. Your fever's been gone for two days.
Love,
Too Tired to Keep Up With You Today
Dear USPS,
Oh, where to start?
Respectfully,
Looking for My Mail
How about you? What emails would you like to send, but just don't bother?
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